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Nobody's Hot Shit

Not a single effing person. 

Not you. Not your mom. Not your cat. Not even with your stupid dog face snapchat filter!

But this blog post isn't about snapchat filters, your mom, your cat, or let alone you. It's about letting go, and chilling the fuck out. 

First, let me give credit for this quote- thank you Mary Ann Hesseldenz

When I say "Nobody's hot shit", I'm referring to a self prescribed worth. I'm not saying everyone and everything they do is worthless. There are people who are hot shit by other people's standards, such as Ellen Degeneres, Bill Nye, Jennifer Lawrence, and the entire gang from "Stranger Things". These few are my comically decided exception. 

When I say "nobody's hot shit" I'm looking directly at your need to impress and astonish the world with whatever mulled over thing you're stressing about.  This post isn't meant to be a downer, but my backwards way of helping a couple of you chill out and not take your great work so seriously. 

Let's start with this. Outside of a few very strange and uncommon exceptions, I don't think a single one of us is cosmically gifted with a single talent that will drastically shape the outcome of the world and it's citizens. By this I mean no one is born with a such phenomenal talent to draw, paint, cook, make music, or write poetry in such a potent manner, that no matter what they do, the celestial blanket we lie under will absolutely make sure their fates will be realized and they will do the great work they were gifted with. 

In my last post I discussed how everything we do, everything we're good at, and everything we're interested in is the combined result of the circumstances, events, and people we're subjected to. And this applies here. And in a way, this post is an extension of that discussion. I am a firm believer that with enough practice, humility, and rewiring anyone can become a good cook, illustrator, painter, musician, engineer, etc. I did not begin good at drawing, and I definitely didn't always understand music or nature. I just decided to take on a bit of humility, practice, and rewired some parts of my brain and do the damn work. And for what reason? Because I was curious and I hate being bored. You garden, draw, dance, design, and exercise, because these things caught your curiosity, and you decided "I should probably do something while I wait to die." And that thought isn't that existential really. All creatures have something they do while they wait to return to the ethereal dust, the only difference is- we have options. So we decide some options are more important than others, and if we decide to take on those great works- we, in effect, are more important and meaningful than others (we humans think). All pollinators do one thing, pollinate. We can deduce from observed nature that pollinators don't have a self proclaimed sense of worth as compared to others, because they all do the same thing- pollinate anything that suits their fancy. Their main task is an essential one, and it's the one thing they are uniquely talented at as opposed to other creatures such as alligators, rhinos, or hippogriffs (which I'm positive aren't the best pollinators). What we don't know is whether or not a bunch of bees are shit talking the rhinos because they can't do the task of bees quite as well, which I personally think would be a hilarious little aspect of nature. But this isn't about inter-species comparison, it's about where one creature decides they belong among their respective kind, which is somewhere on the same point along the Y-axis. Not two notches higher or lower than their peers, but directly on the same point. You can be where ever you desire along the X-axis, or Z-axis for that matter. Some people are further ahead in their respective interests, or a little more to the left or the right, but you're damn sure not any higher or lower. 

It's been said again and again, that "everything has been done before." And on a vague scale I do believe that, I do also believe the world is never short of wonders or mystery and I will detail that in ALL (most) ((some)) of its vastness another time. The thing you think makes you "hot shit" is happening somewhere else on this massive god-blessed rock and somewhere among the current seven-billion people. What you're doing essentially isn't that special or important. Again, this isn't supposed to be a downer. If reading this can carve a gaping hole in your ego, leaving you with the desire to drop what you're doing, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What you're doing isn't universally or vastly important, because you don't get to decide whether or not it is. You could create the most profound piece of politically charged art and plaster it all over the city, and at the end of your tirade, everyone else will decide whether or not your time was wasted. Everyone else will decide whether or not what you did was "important". We all see that same silly article floating around Facebook, "these pieces on social commentary will fundamentally change how you view society and how it's been lying to and mistreating you." If there's one thing that happens after going through that small series of 15 over done images, it's that we spend more time discussing just how over done these subjects actually are and how the art had a very tactless and silly effect as opposed to the intended mind-shattering response. You can spend all day making something you think is incredibly important to others, and the response can literally be a comment section, 1000 deep discussing how silly and boring that was.

You're not hot shit because you don't get to decide how hot your shit is. 

Can your shit be hot in regards to yourself? Yes. I make stuff every week that I am thoroughly impressed with. I listen to what I make dozens of times, or I leave the room to refresh my eyes in regards to an image I made and pat my self on the back. Do I expect others to have this repsonse? No. That's how you get "butt-hurtedness". Did I have this expectation? Yes, and I had to cut it out QUICK. Nothing will chop your fucking tree down quicker than secretly sitting in on your own art show and watching a lady literally shrug at your pieces in disgust and confusion and walk out of the gallery while her friend is in the restroom. This literally happened. I was very butthurt and I was a little amused when her friend walked out alone, confused, and abandoned. This was one of the pivotal moments when I realized, my shit is only as hot as the incredibly rude lady at the gallery decides. Or the little boy who thought what I was doing at the time was "super duper cool". But of course the lady's response resonated stronger. So the question is, are any of us really hot shit, when that very foundation of self worth and self-realized importance can be drop kicked harder than this dude? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQjwrP1U-EU. That's what it feels like. 

And if for some reason, a demographic really likes what you do, and they deem it important for any reason, remember this; there are seven-billion people CURRENTLY living on this planet. Within hours, MILLIONS are replaced. Which means a chunk of your demographic just died. This doesn't account for current and ever-changing interests, spam accounts, or the dozens of hot Russian singles that are sliding into my yahoo email account. A very very VERY tiny and VERY VERY VERY short-lived number of molecularly structured meat temples find what you do important, and that's only because they, for some reason, decided the world needed it when really the world (the rest of the seven-billion current living people) didn't even notice you did anything at all. 

I know some people MIGHT find this post a little offensive and demeaning, and that's not the point. And I know a lot of the beautiful people I associate with will see what I'm trying to articulate- this post is about expectations, and how to avoid a very counterproductive disappointment. We start doing things solely because we're curious, and it ignites something in OURSELVES. I didn't start drawing because I felt a small audience in Southeast Asia light up with fascination. Sometimes that is why we continue to do things, and its very evident what the consequences of that can be. What I'm trying to say is- REMEMBER. REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER why you started to do that thing. Trace it back down to the roots. You are allowed to follow the stem, push around some of the dirt that holds it in place and see where it all began. It began with you. It began with curiosity, and it began because you needed something to do. Not someone to impress. Not someone to captivate, and not a society to change. Again there are a couple of very uncommon and revolutionary exceptions, but those people usually end up dead or killed very early on and usually because a very scared, hateful, and counterproductive demographic decided they weren't hot shit. 

What you do matters to YOU. It nourishes YOU. It changes YOU, and if you're in the right place at the right time, it might do the same to others, for a very inconsequential amount of time on the cosmic clock.

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